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joël's beer page |
As a wise man once said, "Its noon somewhere!"
Recently, I have had less time to make beer than to drink it. I have a grasp of all-grain
brewing, but a lack of equipment and time have been instrumental to my inability to up the
ante so to speak. I tend to name my brews after the disaster(s) which happened, much to my
chagrin, during their creation. I guess my consistent inconsistency has also been a
barrier to a full-bore commitment to all-grain brewing. Past imbibables have included Front
Porch Porter, Driveway Dunkel, and Tip-in-the-Tub Stout. Front Porch reflects
where about a third of the stuff wound up while bottling. Tip-in-the-Tub is another story,
altogether.
Tip-in-the-Tub was a hearty stout named after what I am calling a miracle. Although
clergymen were not called to my water-closet to validate my claim. It is no less miraculous
that I did not lose my malty bounty to a freak accident. As I was not in possession of a
wort chiller, I placed the 2-1/2 gallon brew-kettle in the bathtub with lid in place. The
brew-kettle, not the tub! What kind of person puts a lid on their tub? I guess you are
asking what kind of person chills wort in their bathtub. I assure you it was a clean tub.
Moving right along, I started running the cold water and surrounded the kettle with a few
pounds of ice. What ensues is the miracle. I let the water run and put my grey matter in
park. I returned to the bathroom about an hour later, not to retrieve the brew, but to
relieve myself. What I saw probably took care of my business for me. The kettle, lid
firmly in place, was bobbing on its side atop a tub full of water. Physics saved that
batch. The lid sucked onto the kettle and there was much rejoicing. It turned out to be a
damn good stout.
After about a one year brewing hiatus, I brewed a porter which defied my normal wake of
disasters. Nothing went horribly wrong which is a little unsettling in itself. I did
however find myself forgetting some rather important steps (like activating the yeast
before I started brewing the batch.) Details, details... It was dubbed Preoccupied
Porter in honor of the brewer's state of mind. I have decided to keep a list of
brewing tips here from the school of hard knocks so I,
and hopefully someone else, can learn from my mistakes.
If you have any beer trivia, recipes, or brewing tips for a klutz like me, please stick
'em in my e-mail box.
Prosit!