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        joŽl's beer page

As a wise man once said, "Its noon somewhere!"

U-r-r-p!Recently, I have had less time to make beer than to drink it. I have a grasp of all-grain brewing, but a lack of equipment and time have been instrumental to my inability to up the ante so to speak. I tend to name my brews after the disaster(s) which happened, much to my chagrin, during their creation. I guess my consistent inconsistency has also been a barrier to a full-bore commitment to all-grain brewing. Past imbibables have included Front Porch Porter, Driveway Dunkel, and Tip-in-the-Tub Stout. Front Porch reflects where about a third of the stuff wound up while bottling. Tip-in-the-Tub is another story, altogether.

Tip-in-the-Tub was a hearty stout named after what I am calling a miracle. Although clergymen were not called to my water-closet to validate my claim. It is no less miraculous that I did not lose my malty bounty to a freak accident. As I was not in possession of a wort chiller, I placed the 2-1/2 gallon brew-kettle in the bathtub with lid in place. The brew-kettle, not the tub! What kind of person puts a lid on their tub? I guess you are asking what kind of person chills wort in their bathtub. I assure you it was a clean tub. Moving right along, I started running the cold water and surrounded the kettle with a few pounds of ice. What ensues is the miracle. I let the water run and put my grey matter in park. I returned to the bathroom about an hour later, not to retrieve the brew, but to relieve myself. What I saw probably took care of my business for me. The kettle, lid firmly in place, was bobbing on its side atop a tub full of water. Physics saved that batch. The lid sucked onto the kettle and there was much rejoicing. It turned out to be a damn good stout.

After about a one year brewing hiatus, I brewed a porter which defied my normal wake of disasters. Nothing went horribly wrong which is a little unsettling in itself. I did however find myself forgetting some rather important steps (like activating the yeast before I started brewing the batch.) Details, details... It was dubbed Preoccupied Porter in honor of the brewer's state of mind. I have decided to keep a list of brewing tips here from the school of hard knocks so I, and hopefully someone else, can learn from my mistakes.

If you have any beer trivia, recipes, or brewing tips for a klutz like me, please stick 'em in my e-mail box.

Prosit!


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